03 April, 2012

riding the waves

a few years ago i was vacationing in the outer banks in north carolina (i love it there by the way…) and as is not terribly uncommon, a hurricane began to brew out at sea. at first it made for great surfing and wave riding but then things got a little rougher. the day before they evacuated the area, my boyfriend and i scoffed at their warnings and went out in the water.
it was so much fun! the waves were high and we floated up and down riding them further and further out. soon we knew it was wiser to return to the shore…things were getting rough. but when i tried to swim back in, i kept getting pulled out. i couldn’t make any progress…i was stuck. my boyfriend told me to dive through the waves and let them pull me in and so when the crest was behind me, under i dove. i expected to come out a little closer to shore, instead the undertow yanked me down with force and suddenly i was being tossed and thrown below. i couldn’t see and i couldn’t get up for air. i was scared and flailing around under water. i wasn’t strong enough for the undertow that the storm created. and so…  i let go
i continued to toss under the waves, but before i knew it i was thrown onto the beach. Thrown. my bikini bottoms were no longer on my bottom and i was splayed out like a dead pelican, but i could breathe. my boyfriend gaped at me wide eyed while i was flattened and spit out like sea weed…then we just started laughing. i pulled up my shorts while choking on salt water and we stared out at the rising tide as i caught my breath…that was all the swimming we did that day.
sometimes surrender doesn’t mean giving up. sometimes surrender can just mean acceptance. we can spend a lot of energy fighting what we can’t control and we can’t conquer. not every battle is meant to be fought. resisting doesn’t change events or circumstances; it just fuels frustration and resentment. surrendering or accepting doesn’t mean losing or taking abuse, it just means being honest about what is and isn’t in our control and making the best of it. working with the tide instead of swimming against it brings us back to safety and under our own influence and rule.

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