i consider myself a very funny person. in fact, i doubt anyone thinks i am funnier than i do. often though, what i find amusing goes over like a lead balloon.
for a few months now i have been running into this same guy in my neighborhood. we have an innocent game of street-flirting, you know, checking each other out, holding a gaze just a second too long, smiling in check-out lines… the usual harmless and low-risk stuff.
this week i ran into him at the trader joe’s. parenthetical hint to all single hetero men out there (although double parenthetical, how you would be reading this blog is beyond me but here goes…) if you are looking to date do two things: yoga and shop at the trader joe’s. i digress…so i ran into this man at the market and we engaged in our game with our usual smiles.
i went about my business of shopping and once finished, i made my way to the check-out lane. my fellow flirter followed suit, stood very close behind me and after swiftly surveying my cart, full of single portion pre-made Indian meals, shortbread, frozen vegetables, cheap rosé and chocolates, i can only assume his confidence was bolstered by my obviously-single-girl items, he leaned over to me, very near to my ear and quietly said,
“so, do i get more than a smile outta you now that we’re so close?”
to which i replied looking him squarely in the eye with a grin
“what? are you planning on pulling your pants down in this line or something?”
he visibly paled.
i thought it was very funny and frankly, very quick for me…but he was definitely not laughing. he was clearly rattled. either he was actually thinking what i said in jest or i just went too far. most likely, a little of both. he stood, wide-eyed and stunned as i was summoned to the next open lane.
Next indeed…
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