what kind of friends do you have? are your friends funny? do they like to laugh? are they kind and supportive? can you rely on them to lift you up when you are feeling down?
or
do you have friends that complain a lot? that are late or unreliable? do they spend all their time mired in problems?
chances are the people you call friends are a reflection of you and the kind of friend you are. we decide what kind of person we are with our actions. choosing our friends is such an action. we have control over our environment by surrounding ourselves with people that reflect values and behaviours we admire.
if you want to be someone that laughs a lot, find friends that enjoy laughing. if you want to be the kind of person that laughs at people, you can find those kinds of friends too.
so often my clients speak of their problems as being the result of the people they call friends...when the complaints begin to mount, i usually begin to probe a little deeper and guide them through thinking about what they are giving and receiving from those relationships. once we understand what we are exchanging, we can begin to reassess the kinds of relationships we have and the kinds of relationships we would like to have.
making the leap from wanting to having is easier than you think. it is a simple matter of being the friend we want to have and expecting the same in return. when we buy a shirt that doesn't fit, we return it for another that feels more comfortable. sometimes we need to exchange our friends for ones that make us feel better and are better for us.
remember though, it's a free market out there! we are all on the trading floor...together...
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