12 July, 2011

social grace

it's an invitation...not a summons darling...

an invitation is just that: a request, a suggestion, an option. it is not a requirement (except in the case of most funerals, family weddings i mean, obviously, you should know the difference).

this is a murky area for me historically. i have never treated invitations as an automatic confirmation of my attendance. nor do i feel my rsvp's require anything further than a simple acceptance or refusal.

no wild tales of other obligations, just a simple-  sorry i can't make it, hope your (blank) is a wild success, total blast, etc. etc.

i feel it is just more polite to be clear, direct, firm and prompt in my replies. why get lost in subterfuge when simplicity serves the purpose? the same is true for an acceptance. it is polite and thoughtful to let the host/hostess/organizer get an accurate idea of who is coming and who is not.

i had an old boyfriend who marveled at my speed and willingness to refuse invitations. he cautioned that they would "dry up"...not hardly! no one wants a recalcitrant-rebecca at their gathering; don't attend unless it is willingly and with good cheer. and if you can't be in the appropriate spirit, the only polite thing to do is to graciously decline.

life is so much less complicated this way. do what you want and be a good guest-- you will always be back in demand!

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