life lesson

if money can fix it—it isn’t really broke….

a gem of advice from my mother…if you can solve the problem with money, it isn’t a problem worth worrying about.

so very true. often we worry and stress over problems that can be simply addressed by replacing something, hiring someone or getting something new. the point is, we fixate on the material which can almost always be replaced.

true, it is sad when our grandmother’s cake plate slips off the counter and shatters in a million pieces, but at least you have a memory of your grandmother using it and the comfort of knowing she wanted you to have something nice of hers to remember her by; which is really why you loved the cake plate anyway.

better to let go and let live than throw a betty draper style fit over a glass of red wine spilling on the table cloth. what will you take with you from that scene at dinner? a wonderful evening shared with loved ones, or the hysterical ranting of an angry host? over what? something that can be washed and remedied or just replaced.

sometimes we may not have the money to fix what is broken. that is okay. take stock of the simple fact that there is an apparent solution and calm the worry.

case in point: i loved my car. loved it. it was the car i learned to drive on (a feat worth its own post) and was a gift from my mother during one of my first grad programs. i had it for ten years and never had so much as a fender bender. my ex-boyfriend borrowed it once and within thirty seconds of turning the key in the ignition managed to have a head-on crash. i watched the whole debacle in what felt like slo-mo helpless from the curb. was i sad? yes. was i frustrated? yes. but I took a deep breath and immediately dialed my mechanic and the next day it was repaired. it was never the same again (the hood always needed two to open it) but it wasn’t worth a fight with my boyfriend or even holding a grudge. i didn’t really have the money to fix it being an impoverished grad student at the time, but the reality was, my boyfriend was unharmed and it was an incident that could have escalated quickly but quelled by remembering it was just a car.

it isn’t the objects in our life that make it better. repairing relationships, emotions, boundaries…those are the things that are worth our attention. those are the issues that are trickier to solve and are deserving of hard work and worry. protecting our relationships, feelings and friends is where our attention should lie. those are the elements that make the things in our life worth having.