going solo

as a pronounced introvert, i have always relished my solitude. it has never bothered me to go to a party alone, dismiss a “plus one” on an invitation or just spend an evening by myself. when faced with a choice between going out with a crew or hanging solo, i almost always choose the latter. guaranteed to enjoy the company at least…

i have learned however, that not everyone delights in isolation. many people fear it or see it as a set-up for loneliness.

i often encourage my clients to choose activities as a reward for desired behavior change but find that they balk at doing things alone. a person who does not hesitate to hit the gym or spend hours getting a mani-pedi will stare wide-eyed at my suggestion to spend that same time at café enjoying coffee and book, will shake their head at the idea of going to a movie by themselves or horror of horrors, visibly pale at the idea of dining out alone!

but it is good practice to be able to do the things you enjoy all by yourself. it is not a gateway to loneliness but rather a buffer against it. we are learning that we can partake without depending on others. it is okay to prefer to do things with our friends, but being without them shouldn’t prevent us from participating.

it is also good practice to learn to enjoy ourselves; to afford an opportunity to hear our own thoughts clearly in our own minds; to relate, without interference, to our surroundings.

mostly, it is practice being comfortable with and within ourselves.

to just be yourself…by yourself…