melting ice

recently a friend and i were having a heated dispute and in the middle of it he hurled an accusation at me:

 “well, sometimes you can be C*NTY!”

i didn’t deny it. 

while most of the time i am as kind, compassionate and forgiving as i appear on these pages, i definitely  know how to unleash my inner ice queen and i am not afraid to throw down some serious frost when appropriate.

because that is life.

sometimes we do things that are unkind or thoughtless. sometimes we hurt people that we love. intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes our words or actions wound. 

and so we must apologize. genuinely. in an honest and heartfelt way.

we hope that the ones we have offended forgive us but that is out of our control. all we can do is say we are sorry and act in contrition. but we cannot control the reactions of those whose feelings we have trampled.

once forgiven, it is over. both parties must let go and continue on. holding a grudge, resenting a friend or expecting ongoing genuflecting is not part of forgiveness. it renders the apology false and negates the acceptance.

it isn’t always easy to forgive and sometimes it is impossible to forget. “sorry” is not an eraser.

when we misbehave and offend or hurt someone, all we can do is apologize. the rest is up to them…and we live with the consequences… whatever they may be…