dog days

it has been insanely hot here in the 202. i mean, crazy sauna hot. it is not only making me cranky and snappish, it is holding me hostage in my house. too hot for the pool, too hot for wandering, i am holed up at home like a prisoner of global warming.

when we here in DC get massive snow fall, the city shuts down. a strange quiet settles in and everything feels cozy and calm. i love looking out my seventh story windows, seeing the glow of tv sets and lights from other apartments as people nest indoors to avoid the mess of the plows and slush below us.

but when the sun blazes and i retreat to avoid summer elements, i feel guilty. shame on me for not relishing the outdoors! what is the difference, i don’t know … when i stow away from the stifling, infrastructure bending heat, i feel like a seasonal traitor. and it is so dull to be stuck at home in the summer!

in winter i wake to snowfall with the same childish glee we met school snow days. i pull out a book, pull on my sweats and lounge on the couch, channel surf, catch up on old new yorkers, sip hot tea and luxuriate in found time.

now i find myself pacing frantically, anxious and pent up… irritable and caged…i want OUT! my mind feels as trapped as my body…longing for relief and release…moving from one temperature controlled indoor environment to another, melting in transport…i feel like i am wilting inside and out…stuck in the stagnant air of this season waiting to be revived in the next…

the still of the night

growing up i always wanted a balcony off my bedroom. i never really got a balcony exactly, but i did get access to an overhang that was a bay window below my room. it came in very handy when i was in high school and took to sneaking out at night.

these gorgeous early summer nights are reminding me of that time…before heading off to family overseas, desperate to spend every single second with my friends…quietly climbing out my window and leaping into the yard below…the grass cool and tickly on my legs as i would land and sprint down the street to where my friends were waiting in a running car…i loved the still of my neighborhood in the late hours, the padding of my feet on the sidewalk and how loud my breath sounded in the quiet.

we were never up to anything very naughty but the act of sneaking out made me feel deliciously wicked. how i long to feel so bad doing something so innocent again…

summer stage

summer’s official start is this weekend. i am getting a jump on my favorite season by heading to the beach with my bestie tomorrow. i am so looking forward to lazy sunshine filled days, lying on the beach reading and drinking, and diving in the waves when i get too warm.

what i love most about summer, is that it has such an effect on everyone. we relax and move a little more slowly, the days grow longer and it seems okay to have an afternoon drink or two with a pal, we escape the concrete city and crowd the sandy shore. we are more open and bare…as we shed layers to keep cool, we shed some inhibitions as well. summer is the season when anything can happen, and often, crazy things do. embrace it! i say. enjoy and indulge. act out and act upon every silly impulse or opportunity that pops in your head or crosses your path.

i like to think of life as a movie or a tv show. we are the star of our very own making. the trick is to remember that unlike a movie or show, you can’t pause or fast forward when things get scary or troublesome—you have to take control and write and perform your way out of it. you have to really live through each twist and turn of the plot. 

take a breath, close your eyes and conjure up your next scene then do your best to make it shine. summer is ripe for dreaming and scheming…make something good happen this weekend. set the stage for your next act to unfold…it may even surprise you…

i was gone and now i'm back

suddenly it's september...it came out of nowhere it seems...the end of summer and the beginning of autumn. for me (and many others) it is like a mini new year with that hard to shake back-to-school feel in the air and in my heart. looking back the summer flew by but it was a good one. it was full of people i love, friends i haven't seen in ages, dancing, long lazy days with family here and back home and even the soothe of the ocean. it was a happy and fortunate season...i am reluctant to let go and jump into fall but there is really no choice. life moves forward, marching on despite our longings and laggings.

a short re-cap of what-i-wore and some things i did this summer.

en été, je pense à-t-elle...

it's finally really summer. midsommar was yesterday so it is official.
whenever it gets steamy and the sun blazes i think of jean seberg. i don't know why other than i used to read "bonjour tristesse" every summer while lying on the beach. i thought it made me look as glamorous as cecile seemed to be.  watching "a bout de souffle" always made me feel warm too, now that i think about it.
two of my favorite summer love stories. light, to be sure, but still thoughtful and substantive.

pictures (mostly) from cracked actress