pleasure...little treasure...

thinking today of things that bring you joy. obviously, there are big things—the birth of a baby, falling in love, getting that first big break—these are major life events. but what about the little things that cause your toes to tingle, a giggle to erupt, a smile to break?

some things that make me happy are: cooking in my kitchen when it is raining outdoors, even better if a friend is perched on my red stool keeping me company; a fresh hair cut, seeing tufts of blonde laying around my feet on the floor; a new dress; the click of the deadbolt behind me when i come home from a long day, knowing i am alone and undisturbed; opening my fridge and finding cupcakes i forgot i had; faire le canard with sugar cubes and good, thick espresso; that first really cold, crisp night of winter, wrapped in a scarf wandering the streets newly lit with tree lights and realizing that the holidays are near…what else? oysters. crayfish! that groggy feeling when you awake on an overseas flight, just slightly confused as you land and it is a new morning in a new place; the first glide of my skate on fresh ice; champagne before dinner…

just little things to savor. little things to notice. simple pleasures that delight…

looking glass

in my line of work, the people i meet are not always at their best. mostly people come to me when they are at a crossroads, in crisis or need some major alterations in their life.

it isn’t always easy to see the bright side of things when you spend your days steering through stormy waters. when days are especially dark it is hard to trust the sun will shine again, but it will. that is just the natural order of things. it may take longer than you wish, it may get darker still but eventually the skies clear, the clouds pass and the storm dies down.

when i am stuck in the dark, i try to think of a few things that helped me safely endure. sometimes i am grateful for a friend that held my hand, supporting and guiding me through the shadows of my troubles. knowing i have a shoulder to lean on or a hand to steady me helps me fall asleep, buttressed to face another uncertain day.

other times i have to really push my clients (and myself) to find that bright spot. it can be the smallest thing that offered some respite in traumatic times. the luxury of crisp clean linens that feel cool against your body as you lie in bed, the kindness or courtesy of a stranger in line at the market, getting to the gym in effort to care for yourself, a deliciously ripe tomato sliced in your lunch, making all the green lights in your commute home…however mundane, stop and recognize it was a moment free of the plague of problems.

even the most optimistic among us aren’t always served a glass half-full. our thirst may be unquenchable and we may gulp what we have until it is gone. when we are running on fumes we need to pause and revisit what doesn’t deplete us and allow time for our glass to fill again.

dog days

it has been insanely hot here in the 202. i mean, crazy sauna hot. it is not only making me cranky and snappish, it is holding me hostage in my house. too hot for the pool, too hot for wandering, i am holed up at home like a prisoner of global warming.

when we here in DC get massive snow fall, the city shuts down. a strange quiet settles in and everything feels cozy and calm. i love looking out my seventh story windows, seeing the glow of tv sets and lights from other apartments as people nest indoors to avoid the mess of the plows and slush below us.

but when the sun blazes and i retreat to avoid summer elements, i feel guilty. shame on me for not relishing the outdoors! what is the difference, i don’t know … when i stow away from the stifling, infrastructure bending heat, i feel like a seasonal traitor. and it is so dull to be stuck at home in the summer!

in winter i wake to snowfall with the same childish glee we met school snow days. i pull out a book, pull on my sweats and lounge on the couch, channel surf, catch up on old new yorkers, sip hot tea and luxuriate in found time.

now i find myself pacing frantically, anxious and pent up… irritable and caged…i want OUT! my mind feels as trapped as my body…longing for relief and release…moving from one temperature controlled indoor environment to another, melting in transport…i feel like i am wilting inside and out…stuck in the stagnant air of this season waiting to be revived in the next…

trippin'

some of my favorite friends are heading off on a road trip. after feeling a twinge of jealousy for the fun they are about to have, i got to thinking about road trips as a great allegory for life.

you may start with a map and a plan and all may go along accordingly…but we make choices when we make plans. when we chose one thing, we reject other things. we cannot experience every opportunity or know all possibilities. you never know where the other roads may have lead you…life is risky like that. you have to make choices and take what arrives.

sometimes there are surprises… unplanned incidents that delay our progress. and so we cope. we handle what comes our way with the best of our abilities in that moment. next time such an emergency arises, we are better prepared and less afraid. stronger and more assured.

sometimes the road is dark, rough and we feel lost. but still we go on…we use the tools we have to forge ahead, always trusting that we will find our way out or someone to help us get back on track.

when we are back in the sunshine and the sky is bright, remember to pay attention. feel the warmth of rays in our hair, smell the air and remember how colorful and exciting seeing new places and meeting new people can be.

too often we take the easy times for granted. the free-wheeling fun is the best part. we often work so hard at getting through hard times, we forget we can apply the same sort of industrious focus to enjoying the good. when we pay attention to those quiet moments, they speak volumes that we can carry with us forever.

***photo credit: wild strawberries, ingmar bergman

top ten

another christmas come and gone. this year i had such a lovely holiday.

sixteen empty wine bottles sit in my kitchen waiting for the recycling bin, serving as a reminder (and a caution) of our indulgence. so much good food, even better friends and cheeks sore from laughing.

my house guest has returned home and now there is just this ill-defined and slow moving time that hangs in the air before the new year begins…

one of my corny holiday pleasures is christmas music- back and forth between the classical music station’s organ heavy broadcast or the modern versions- i love it all and it is all i listen to in december. at some point during our late night dinner, one guest had his fill of "rockin' around the christmas tree" and snapped the station to a beatles a-to-z channel. this immediately prompted a discussion of beatles vs. stones, which quickly led to a would-you-rather and either-or game. you know… beatles or stones, would you rather: mick jagger or david bowie etc. i mean, we could play this all day…it is always a fun way to learn some surprising things about people you think you know. playing the game soon exposed my penchant for top ten lists. i have been making them since i was in middle school and even now i continue to update regularly. i love seeing what changes and how much remains the same

making lists of highlights, lowlights, movies, parties, fun, people, things to do- whatever. this is what everyone does to broadcast and summarize the closing of the year. normally my lists are “all-time” lists but i think  i am going to make some top ten of 2011 lists this week; of things and events but also of feelings and experiences. i will spend my new years day reflecting but also selecting what i want to keep with me and what i will leave behind in order to make room for the new as we enter 2012.

as don draper said, “my life moves in one direction- forward”

i will be thinking this week about what to pack for the trip…

*photos from: kids these days, miss ginger and toni frisell