holiday

it's the unofficial start of summer. everyone is clearing out of town and heading for the hills or the sand. me? i am staying here in the city. i decided to be a tourist in my own town. trying to see it from a fresh perspective and maybe in a new light that will last through the season. re-envision the landscape and by extension revise my routine. everyone needs to hit re-fresh once in awhile.

take the time to look around you this weekend. see what new things you notice. or better yet, take note of those things you take for granted and give them your fullest attention.
you know the song...
brought to you by the goddess of reinvention herself, the mighty madge.
celebrated by me, the swede lowdown.

this is what cool looks like

today is like janejanejanesassysassysassy...and i am like barf-o-rama. so over it! i never got it. i tried too. it just didn't work for me. it, frankly, wasn't cool.
which got me thinking...what was cool to me? what shaped my aesthetic sensibilities?
the answer was clear: BLONDIE
debbie harry is cool. period.
the first woman i ever wanted to be. i used to put on my mom's slips and muss my hair and dance in front of my disco mirror just like i was debbie harry. she showed me that smart, strong, talented women could also be hot and hip. she showed me how to be tough and independent; to stand tall and be interesting; to be center stage without apology.
thank you debbie harry! i am me because you are you.

life lesson

don't engage in foolery with fools.

seriously, it's not worth the time, trouble or energy. give them enough rope and they will hang themselves.

lot's of client talk this week about power struggles, getting even and being annoyed by friends and family. we've been practicing identifying boundaries and owning behaviours and feelings and the outcomes of such.

in other words, don't let someone else's  problems or issues become yours. you don't need problems because you have problems. and allowing them to pull you into the drama is getting involved.

define yourself and what is yours and detach with love and respect.

do you go climbing a lot? sure... rooftops, fire escapes and stuff

"little darlings" is on tv...oh how i love love love this movie! it is so my childhood... blondie "one way or another", feathered hair, bra-less in ringer tees. oh... the end of the free and easy seventies. oh, how i mourn thee...
the thing i notice most about this movie seeing it now through my adult eyes, is that even though the whole premise is based on femme-on-femme competition, there is so much less cattiness and bitchery among the girls than in the crap they produce now. the messages i got as a child were so much more empowering and let's just call it out FEMINIST. these girls are friends. they are developed and have interesting things to say, they grow and change over the summer...and they are all so different. a different "type", yeah, i know, but at least they are all not the same generic tart we see solely now.
my mother did not want me to see this movie because she felt it was too focused on getting boys and being cutesy etc. but that is not at all what it is about. it is about being girlfriends and holding onto our short lived girlhood.
and i mean, let's not ignore that it was the first time i saw matt dillon without his shirt on. that alone makes it a seriously noteworthy movie.

hemlängtan

i saw this photo on frida's blog the other day

i loved it for many reasons. one, because frida is so cool in such an approachable, relatable and attainable way. i love how she is just fine to sit and be alone; chin pointed out, almost daring you to join her and ruin her satisfying solitude.
two, because i have actually been to this restaurant (!) and completely forgot its existence until i saw this picture. it was such a rush of memories. first recognizing it, placing it, then a mental slide-show of it.
i was there years ago with a boyfriend who was suffering from homesickness after we had been travelling for many weeks. we drank terrible margaritas or some concoction and ate an even worse version of tex-mex.
it got me thinking about being homesick. i am not sure i ever get homesick. for home anyway. i never did as a kid. quite the contrary...i loved being away from home. but that is another post or blog even, entirely.
i do long for places and people though. i am just not sure where or what to call home anymore. when i am back "home" where i was a child (parts of it anyway), i often vacillate between basking in the comfort of the old and familiar and waves of sadness for what is lost, never to be re-found. i guess that is homesickness altogether. wishing we could go back to what no longer is...wait, isn't that nostalgia? that makes me sound so old...

besides, it's cultural

i am going to get these prints to hand out when i am on the street, at the gym or supermarket etc. i swear, if one more person - nej stranger tells me to "smile"...
excuse me but this is my face. sorry i don't walk around with a vacant idiotic grin just to please you...

thanks kristina

life lesson

earlier today i tweeted a little saying: if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck; that duck is cheating on you!
a few of my clients are really struggling with major relationship issues right now. i have been spending a lot of time listening to he said/she said theorizing. the thing of the thing is, it is almost never so complicated or mysterious. things are generally what they appear to be. if she says she's going out with the girls and you run into her at a party with another guy; yup you guessed it, she's cheating on you.
i am personally not a big monogamist in theory or practice, but most people are. if you are one of them, stop agonizing. date the boy who acts like he wants to date you. ditch the girl that doesn't make plans. even if you aren't ready for the "real deal", the person you are with should be happy to be there.
life lesson...it really is that simple.

and if the people stare, then the people stare...

the coolest thing happened yesterday.

i was tagging along with j & b running errands to the fabric store and target (i mean, already you know this is a gay-post). anyway, j and i were walking together and when we went to pick up b, they kissed in greeting on the street. suddenly a face popped between them, and i had a fleeting thought that this may turn into an altogether different sort of scene on 16th street...but it was just a man who excitedly burst out - this is my first gay kiss!

well, he wasn't kissed, so for a second we were confused. he continued by saying -i'm from montana...
hmmm...well, anyway, j replied by directing him to 14th and P by saying - you'll be seeing a lot more of it today...

so cynical. we walked away and i pointed out that maybe we glossed over a pivotal moment in this man's life. j agreed and then realized he and b would always be a part of this man's memory. which is quite nice actually. on the other hand, it is also cool that we just take for granted the open display of men kissing in our fair city.

so i made them re-create the moment

i mean, the most shocking thing is that they are in a mini cooper, right? hahhaa