the year of the ant

i went to my final holiday party on monday. i never imagined i would be glad to see the bottom of a champagne bottle, but I was…

predictable new year’s conversation focused on resolutions. even more predictable were the reports of “lose weight”, “live healthier” and graciously “give more to others”. i did not offer up my resolutions because for once, i haven’t made any.

this year i spent some time on new year’s day (recovering, yes…) reflecting on the events of 2011 and trying to map out a game plan for 2012. 

i have never been goal oriented. always more the impulsive grasshopper than the industrious ant. never in my life did i have a long-term strategy.

sure, i have made some plans, completed rites of passage and i guess i had some sort of vision of what i wanted my life to look like. true, that vision mostly included Marni dresses and wandering through sunny flower and cheese markets in Provence, but still…i could close my eyes and see what i wanted things to look like; i just didn’t have a road map to that destination.

this year i want a path. goals are important. they give shape to our lives, meaning, direction and purpose. you can’t go backwards and rewrite the past but going forwards without direction is really just spinning your wheels. i have often joked that i am where i am because of inertia but it isn’t really much of a joke when it is true.

this year i am avoiding resolutions in favor of aspirations and plans. halting the momentum that has propelled me to where i am now and choosing where i am going is the framework for my 2012 plan. the swede lowdown version 2.0, if you will.

stay tuned…

*photo via this farming man

cheers, babe

happy new year!

i am going to celebrate tonight...this is one of my favorite nights of the year. it feeds my need for renewal and revision, and of course, reinvention.

 i am always a little superstitious on new year's eve; i can't help but feel how the year begins sets a tone or gives a glimpse into what the year will hold and so i aim for a night filled with laughter and love. fancy dress, decadent food and expensive champagne consumed while surrounded by gorgeous men...that's the plan for this year anyway.

 i will return with more substantial thoughts but right now i am thinking only of debauchery.

best wishes for 2012!

photo via BBC

clock of the heart

life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards

- søren kierkegaard

gifs from robyngifs.com

top ten

another christmas come and gone. this year i had such a lovely holiday.

sixteen empty wine bottles sit in my kitchen waiting for the recycling bin, serving as a reminder (and a caution) of our indulgence. so much good food, even better friends and cheeks sore from laughing.

my house guest has returned home and now there is just this ill-defined and slow moving time that hangs in the air before the new year begins…

one of my corny holiday pleasures is christmas music- back and forth between the classical music station’s organ heavy broadcast or the modern versions- i love it all and it is all i listen to in december. at some point during our late night dinner, one guest had his fill of "rockin' around the christmas tree" and snapped the station to a beatles a-to-z channel. this immediately prompted a discussion of beatles vs. stones, which quickly led to a would-you-rather and either-or game. you know… beatles or stones, would you rather: mick jagger or david bowie etc. i mean, we could play this all day…it is always a fun way to learn some surprising things about people you think you know. playing the game soon exposed my penchant for top ten lists. i have been making them since i was in middle school and even now i continue to update regularly. i love seeing what changes and how much remains the same

making lists of highlights, lowlights, movies, parties, fun, people, things to do- whatever. this is what everyone does to broadcast and summarize the closing of the year. normally my lists are “all-time” lists but i think  i am going to make some top ten of 2011 lists this week; of things and events but also of feelings and experiences. i will spend my new years day reflecting but also selecting what i want to keep with me and what i will leave behind in order to make room for the new as we enter 2012.

as don draper said, “my life moves in one direction- forward”

i will be thinking this week about what to pack for the trip…

*photos from: kids these days, miss ginger and toni frisell