miss me blind

even though i am enraged on a daily basis by the inequities of my female existence, i am always thankful to be a woman. i had another ‘whew…am i glad to be a woman’ moment last night.

i was vegging out in front of the tv and an ad for cialis came on. now, normally i don’t really pay attention to ads much less ones clearly not targeted to my own demographic, but i was totally mesmerized by this one.

an attractive middle-aged couple together shopping at the grocery store, gently and smilingly fondling produce…of course, inspiring an intimate moment; suddenly they embrace and now the supermarket is a wooded glen, and that orange display? poof! now it’s a picnic blanket and our couple lies down on it, gazing deeply into each other eyes. this totally happens to me at the safeway. All. The. Time. i was cracking up.

but the part that really caught me was when the voice-over ran down the side effects…ummm…BLINDNESS anyone??? apparently taking cialis may have a ‘sudden and severe’ side effect of freaking blindness! so, there’s your choice droopy…blindness or a boner. wow. am i glad to be a woman. because you know the guys taking cialis (and there are quite a few of them…insurance covered, of course, don’t even get me started on that…god forbid a man lose his potency…what evil would befall us??) i digress…you know the guys taking cialis are seriously willing to risk losing their sight just to get an erection.

that is devotion to a, ahem, member, for sure.

smile or die

for me, the streets of DC are every bit as ribald as my experiences in Rabat and Rome. lots of cat-calls, obscene whispers, vulgar comments and often more vulgar requests… it was mind-blowing when i moved back to the states and felt more scrutinized and vulnerable to men’s gazes and remarks than ever before; from Italy mind you. and i am blonde…

in my time here, i have endured daily jeers and leers running the gamut of men: from the street junkie to the pleated-front-khaki hill staffer to the most interestingly inspired garbage collector, all feel perfectly at ease announcing aloud their latent desires. i have heard some things that embarrassed me, sickened me, angered me and in general just annoyed me. i have long resented that i cannot walk the streets undisturbed in my own world and thoughts without a reliable reminder that i am female and thus, not privy to the glorious male possession of unquestioning entitlement that apparently includes sidewalks as well as the boardroom. but i digress…

but above all the lewd and piggish things i have heard nothing irks me quite so much as the simple command to “smile”.  i have posted about this before. i am not a smiler and it seems i live in a world where not smiling is sure sign that i am a deviant in desperate need of man to please. my blood boils when through the blare of my ear-buds; over the dull rumbling of traffic i hear “smile”. immediately my fists clench, my eyes narrow and my lips press more tightly together. no chance of so much as a smirk from me. why is it so necessary to smile?

i personally have a theory that it is a way to neutralize power in a woman. i walk with purpose, my broad shoulders squared, my head held high. i look like i have somewhere to go and something serious to do when i get there. is that so threatening? remember how popular Laura Bush was? every photo or film clip i saw of her, she wore that open-eyed blank smile. soft and gentle, she gazed adoringly at her husband. she was the ultimate supporting actress and her ever present smile assured us she liked it like that. no, she didn’t convey ambition or drive, just unwavering support for her man.

maybe i am over-analyzing a pet peeve. i stand by my cultural bias element in my previous post. however, i do find it curious in country that refuses to elect women to office in equal representation, we do want them to look happy about it.

photo: isabel marant scarf courtesy of netaporter.com