some conversations are hard to have. it would be great if people could read our minds and we could avoid uncomfortable confrontation, but that just isn’t possible. dropping hints and vague suggestions only serves to heighten the tension. being direct, simple and straightforward is the generally most effective even if not the easiest way to send a message.
we can ask for what we want. we can set boundaries. we can tell people how we really feel.
we don’t need to fix people with words. we shouldn’t expect their words to fix us. we don’t have to engage in nonsense or power struggles.
we can simply express how we feel, what we want, what we need…and demand the same of others.
we can be tactful but direct. we can speak clearly but with compassion. we can avoid manipulations or guilt. we can be assertive and still be gentle and kind.
communication is a skill. sometimes it comes to us naturally, other times we must work at it. speaking up or speaking our mind often delivers, but sometimes we must settle for being heard. sometimes we don’t like what we hear, but we still must listen with respect and care. when we are hurt or disappointed, being honest about that may be hard but it is better than letting it come out in other passive or destructive ways. sometimes we are unsure what we want or how we feel. that is okay. we can simply say just that…
we can ask for more information, use conversation to forge intimate bonds, but we must be careful not to talk something to death or coerce someone with our words.
most of all, we must be truthful and respectful. that is the best way to communicate our feelings, needs and desires.
