life lesson

magical knowing

people are not mind-readers. even the ones that love you and know you best. no one can just magically know your thoughts and feelings.

this is a common theme with my couple-clients. so many disputes and grudges originate with one of the partners feeling slighted because the other did not "know" what they wanted/meant/felt just by looking at them or being with them.

it's a lovely idea that our most intimates know us so well they can read our minds. sometimes it may even seem like they can. but the truth is they can't; no one can. if you want something or are feeling something and need someone to know or to react to it, you must tell them.

telling them doesn't mean being bossy or directive or overbearing. it just means stating what you are thinking in a clear, direct and non-blaming way. how can we get what we want unless people know what it is?

now, if this doesn't work and your wishes are ignored, well, that is another "life lesson" post.